All of the clients I coach are successful people.
They are CEOs, business owners, and startup founders.
Some of them have achieved a lot and want to achieve even more.
And yet, most of them come to me with the same problem.
They say:
“I’ve achieved so much – why am I so unhappy?”
But it’s like asking: “I’ve slept so well – why is it raining outside?”
Our achievements and our happiness are two different things, unfortunately.
Our mood depends on the difference between what we think is happening and what we believe should happen or be normal.
If reality exceeds our expectations, we’re happy. Like when your boss unexpectedly tells you you’re very good at what you do, or your neighbor says your house looks great.
When your spouse tells you they love you – out of the blue, during an ordinary dinner – that also sends a warm wave through your body.
But when your children misbehave, or your subordinates ignore their duties, your mood drops because you believe they should do what you expect.
And so does your mood when you believe you’re worse than you could be.
Your mood equals your reality minus your expectations. Positive or negative.
We can’t change our reality much. Our influence on it is limited.
But we can accept the fact that the world is imperfect, and we’re imperfect.
We can accept that children always misbehave and do it not because they want to hurt us.
We can realize that when our subordinates ignore their duties, they just send us a signal.
And we can admit that we are as imperfect as everything around us.
Sri Chinmoy, an Indian spiritual leader, said: “Peace begins when expectation ends.”
Svyatoslav Biryulin
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Read also: Successful People? They Are Just Lucky
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